June 9th is a very special day for me……

Today is my  son, Jeremy’s birthday and he turns 26.  We have missed out on sharing together his last 9 birthdays because of Scientology Disconnection.  😥

Jeremy, I went dirt biking yesterday at Cow Mountain and thought about how much fun we used to have riding together and stopping for lunch to have our PB & J sandwiches.


I miss  you so much son and all the fun times we had together.  We weren’t only mom and son we were the best of friends and had a blast just hangin’ together.  Here you and I are when we went riding at Cow Mountain back when you were about 14:71726A52-9385-4481-87CB-F636604ED0D9.jpeg

Every day I’m hopeful for your phone call so we can work this Disconnection out.  I know we can Son if we just have a chance for us to talk with just you, me and Jessica and no other interference from Scientology.    Let’s use our LOVE and our HEARTS to guide us to be reconnected again.  Call me son and I’ll be on the next flight to Austin.  I PROMISE I WILL NEVER GIVE UP!!

Love you sooooo much Jeremy!

Happy 26th Birthday Son! I hope next birthday we can celebrate your big day together.

Love Always,

Your Mom! ❤️❤️❌⭕️🏍🏍


Jessica and Jeremy I choose to believe we will be reunited……

Everyday I wake up I think of you both and hope this will be the day that I get that call.  Hearing about families that have been disconnected from their loved ones for 20 and 30 years is unimaginable.  I can’t go there… so I’m remaining hopeful and positive that our nightmare will end soon.  I found this quote and look at it daily:


Your mom will never give up and I will continue to fight this cruel,  Scientology Disconnection for us and all the other broken families.  I’m living this Disconnection with you both and it’s so very wrong.  Scientology needs to STOP destroying families and the one way I can help is by sharing our heartbreaking story!  I know one day we will be back together again and in the meantime I can speak out to help other families not share our same grief.

I do hope ‘somehow’ you both are able to read my book.  If you do read it, you will see how hard I’m trying to be back in your lives:

A Mother’s Heartbreak: How Scientology Destroyed My Family *Autographed By me*


I love you both, never forget that!  Just because I won’t go back in to Scientology and do their A-E steps does not mean I don’t love you.  It means I do and I’ll never give in to their demands to control us.  I hope you both finally see how much I’m fighting for us and how much I do love you!

I just got back from a family trip to Hawaii.  This is the 3rd family trip you both missed.  Let’s not miss anymore.  Eight years apart is way too long!!

I’m here for you…. all you have to do is call your mom.




Love always,

Your Mom ❤️❤️❤️




Review Of my book…

by Jeff Wasel Ph.D
Financial Crimes expert,
Scientology critic at large:

“A Mother’s Heartbreak” is a raw, honest look at one woman’s struggle over the fate of her children, against a supposed church that operates more like a cartel than a religion. A “public” Scientologist for a good portion of her adult life, Lori Hodgson was forced to make choices that no mother should face: that of choosing the fate of her kids over her beliefs, as well as between her own health and well-being versus the whims and controlling behavior of a multi-million dollar litigation machine. “A Mother’s Heartbreak” is essentially a story about control: about the loss of control over one’s family, over one’s faith and subsequent sense of self, and the myriad difficulties in breaking free of a pernicious form of cult-like institutional and psychological control, in order to re-establish one’s fundamental rights of freedom of choice, freedom of association, and freedom from abusive religious practices.

At the heart of Lori’s story of love and loss is Scientology’s insidious practice of “disconnection,” wherein the church forces followers to separate themselves from individuals or entire families, that Scientology perceives may be a “threat” to the spiritual health of a follower. More often than not, the follower has no choice in the matter, has been lied to as to the circumstances of the “threat,” nor is old enough to even know better, which is what makes the circumstances in “A Mother’s Heartbreak” all the more tragic. Stories abound of the abusive practices of Scientology, mostly from those who have served in the church’s monastic “Sea Organization” or on staff in the church’s many  “orgs.” Lori’s is one of the first narratives that empirically reveals that the psychological, and at times physical abuse and devastation from  disconnection, extends  to “public” members of Scientology as well. Lori’s story is vitally important in understanding the personal costs of Scientology’s abusive, and potentially criminal conduct. Her book needs to be read by not only families who may be experiencing the very real pain of disconnection, but also by the public at large, as well as by sociologists, religious scholars and law enforcement, so that collectively, we understand why society needs to take a stand against these and other abusive, cult-like religious practices.




My book: “A Mother’s Heartbreak: How Scientology Destroyed My Family”….

I am so very grateful for all my friends, family and even acquaintances that have encouraged me to never give up on my quest to reunite with my children.  Your kind and positive words gave me the extra strength to keep fighting.

I have been trying to reconnect with my children since February 2011.  If you would like to hear my whole story, I’ve written a book about my journey so far.  I hope my book helps bring back my children and all the other broken families torn apart because of Scientology’s heartbreaking Disconnection.

Here is a review from Tony Ortega:


A portion of the proceeds from the sale of this book will go toward efforts to eradicate Scientology’s Disconnection Policy.

Dedicated to my two children so they know the truth and how hard I am fighting to reunite our family. And to all the broken families torn apart by Scientology Disconnection.

My book can be purchased on Amazon:



Jessica and Jeremy please listen to this interview I just did for you both so you will see….

how much I’ve done and am still doing to be back together as a family again.


This interview I did is from my heart.  I explain my younger years in Scientology when I was on staff and why I felt education was so important.

As your mom, I wanted a good education for you both. That is why I fought so hard for you both to stay in school and I wanted you both to wait until you were 18 to make the decision to join Staff and the Sea Org.  I felt that 15 and 16 years old was too young to make that big decision.  I know because I did that and wish I had finished high school before making the decision to join staff.

I go over how I resigned from Scientology and that I was okay with you both continuing on with it.  How after one week of resigning, I was threatened with losing you both to Scientology Disconnection.

How I fought the disconnection and all I’ve done and am still doing to just be your mom.

I love you both and hope we can be a family once again.  I miss being your mom! 😥


Love Always,

Mom ❤️❤️❤️

I’m back Fighting Scientology’s policy of ‘disconnection’, my recent letter from Scientology’s Internationial Justice Chief…..

During this past 1 1/2 years, I was very depressed about my kids and didn’t have the strength to keep fighting for them. Back in April 2016 Scientology had my kids do these interviews:


I was in shock!  I thought my kids looked like they were manipulated to go on camera and clearly the things they said were scripted!  I was so sad for them and distraught over my broken apart family, it affected me badly.  I shut down.

I haven’t spoken out publicly since then.  Not only did I not have the strength to speak out,  I thought just maybe if I was quiet then I would have a chance to reunite with my son and daughter.

A couple months ago in August 2017 I decided to try to contact the IJC, Internationial Justice Chief, Mike Ellis.  When Scientology declares one a “Suppressive Person” then the IJC is the only person you can talk too.  I called many times leaving a message with the receptionist to have him call me and that it’s regarding my disconnected children.

After several attempts the receptionist said the IJC never takes calls or returns calls.  She advised me to put it in writing.  So I wrote a letter to the IJC.

My 1st letter to the IJC dated 8-15-17:

To IJC-Mike Ellis,

My name is Lori Hodgson and I’m the mother of Jeremy Leake and Jessica Davitt.  I have been disconnected from my two children for 7 years.  I’m reaching out to you because I was told you are my only terminal.  I want to make an agreement that is good for my children and I so we can be a family again.  I can do good roads, good weather with my children.  I am fine that they do their Scientology religion.  I just want to be their mom.

Thank you,

Lori Hodgson

The response from the IJC dated 8-23-17:


My response back to the IJC dated 9-7-17

To IJC-Mike Ellis,

I am continuing on with my baptized Luthern Religion.  I will honor my daughter Jessica and my son Jeremy’s Scientology Religion and would like the same respect back for my Luthern Religion.

I can do “Good Roads, Good Weather” so that we can be a family again.

Please let me know if that can be worked out?

Thank you,

Lori Hodgson

I can clearly see that the only way Scientology would ever let me be with my kids is if I do the A-E steps.  I CAN NOT do those steps as I’m not a Scientologist anymore and part of the steps is to say I’ve lied about everything that is true and I would need to do many hours of amends to Scientology for speaking out about Scientology taking my kids from me.   I’m not lying and the only reason I continue to speak out is because I want my kids back!!

I would agree to Scientology’s “Good Roads, Good Weather” which is what I needed to do with my family members that were critical of Scientology when I was a Scientologist.  It basically means to get the family member to respect your religion.

I never heard back from the IJC after my 2nd letter.

I have sent messages to the IJC to please respond back.

On November 15, 2017 I sent my kids a message that I tried working with the IJC and now their not responding back. I asked my kids to please call me so we can work this out and be a family again.

As of Dec 14, 2017 I have not heard back from the IJC or my kids.

I tried being quiet, I tried reaching out to the IJC and I tried reaching out to my kids.  Nothing works so I’m going to continue to fight for my kids by speaking out again on every platform that I possibly can.

I love you Jessica and Jeremy and I will never give up on us!


Love always,

Your Mom



Jessica and Jeremy I’m hoping you read this……

I am responding to your interviews that the Church of Scientology instructed you both to do and sent to ABC.  Here is a link to your interviews that was aired on Good Morning America May 2, 2016:


Jeremy, this is the text to your interview:

“She keeps going to the media and putting our personal information and our life for the world to see with you know false information and which is just gonna upset us”.

Son, first of all if I have said anything false, please tell me what it is so we can talk about it?

Secondly, Jeremy you know I have done everything to try to talk to you privately.  I have called you many times and after I leave a message your phone number is changed.  I’ve tried to send you messages on social media myself and through friends.  I’ve even gone to Texas and tried to talk to you.  Scientology always intervenes and that is why I’m trying to talk with you with the Media’s help.  I would like more than anything just to be able to sit down with you and your sister and talk about our situation without anyone intervening.  Can we please do that son?  You have my number and I would love to hear from you.

Jessica,  here is the text to your interview:

“I don’t believe that she really wants a relationship with me.  I think it is more important for her to have this vendetta against my Church than to have a relationship with me.”

Jessica, I want a relationship with you and your brother.  I miss you both terribly and can’t believe we have been kept apart for over 5 years because of this “Disconnection”.  My Vendetta is against the Scientology Disconnection Policy that is keeping us apart and that is all!  I simply want to be your mom. I don’t care if you and Jeremy do Scientology and I have said that many times.  I can’t be your mom though because of Scientology…. I have to go back in and do the steps that are required by Scientology to be able to be your mom.  I am not the one putting up the requirements.  I am not asking you to give up your religion, I am just asking to be able to be in your life.  Scientology is setting the demands, not me.  I love you honey and wish I could just be able to say all this to you in person.   Please Jessica Call Me and let’s get our lives back together again.  I will never stop fighting for our RECONNECTION…. I promise that!

I love you both, Jessica and Jeremy with all my heart!


Love Always,


Your Mom ❤️

My Christmas Wish…..

….. is to be reunited with my children and for all the other families to be reunited that are broken apart due to Scientology’s cruel, enforced  ‘Disconnection Policy’.

Scientology says there is no enforced ‘Disconection Policy’ that it is each parishioners own choice who they want to be in communication with.   This is a lie!  For example, with my own children…..  how can it be their choice to never see their mom or grandma again unless we comply with Scientology’s demands.  My disconnected son told me that he loves me and wants to be with me, but he doesn’t know what to do.  If he see’s me then he will lose his father and get expelled from Scientology.  This is not his own choice; it is a “Sophie’s Choice”.  This is one of the ways how Scientology keeps their members in line.

Sooner or later the controlled Scientologist will walk away and be free again to see whomever they want and think for themselves.


I have high hopes that my children will be back with me again.

I will never give up on my son and daughter.

Think about it Jessica and Jeremy isn’t FREEDOM, LOVE and FAMILY a much better choice?

Love Always,

Your Mom ❤️❤️❤️❤️


Back around the year 1998 I had a bad feeling I was in for a rough road…..

……. my son Jeremy was only around 5 years old and my daughter Jessica was turning 8.  I was the Preschool Director of Los Gatos Academy. The preschool was a non-denominational  school, but the upper school where my kids attended was a Scientology school.


I remember clearly this one alarming afternoon, I saw a parent crying and I asked what was wrong.

She replied, “my daughter is leaving soon for the Sea Org”  which is the elite branch of Scientology where members are required to sign a billion year contract to dedicate their lives to work for Scientology.

I Mentioned to her  “if you don’t want her to go, why don’t you just say no?”

She said “I can’t do that!”

I was confused……I said “WHY?”

She replied  “I can’t talk about it!”

I knew at that moment that I needed to be very concerned with my own children when they reached their teenage years.  I didn’t know at that time that if your a Scientology parent and you disagree with Scientology recruiting your kids for staff or the Sea Org that it’s almost impossible to fight it.  This is why this parent told me that she couldn’t talk about it.  I found out this first hand when I had to go through the recruiting of my own children.  I will go into this in more detail In a later post.

That same evening, I discussed with my 1st husband, Jessica and Jeremy’s father,  what had happened with this parent and her daughter.  After I told him what had occurred , I listened to what he had to say.  He told me that he didn’t see anything wrong with children joining the Sea Org.  He thought it was a good thing.

Then he shared with me that his ex wife’s son, Chris Leake joined the Sea Org when he was only around 12 years old.  He continued on to tell me that Chris went over the rainbow, which is a secret place in Scientology and even his own mother didn’t know where her son was.

I told my husband that I thought that was absolutely crazy, that I would never allow our children to do that. I felt bad for Chris’s Mom.  Little did I know….. my husband was not on the same page as me.  I was shocked by his reaction and couldn’t think with losing our children to the Scientology Sea Org.

He then told me that his stepson, Chris married Rhoanne who is L. Ron Hubbards Greandaughter.  Shortly after this time, we met Rhoanne and Chris, but had to keep it on the down low.  My ex was acting very secretive about the whole meeting.

A few months later, I observed these Sea Org recruiters wearing their naval uniforms showing up on the campus.   They were actually recruiting the young high school children to drop out of school and join the Sea Org.

I really started worrying and thought to myself “I have to prevent this from happening with my own children when they reach highschool  age”.

I guess my worry and concern for my children was well justified and at that time I had no idea of the nightmare that was ahead of us.  😔




My Jessica is engaged…..

…. and I’m truly happy for you.   Congratulations to you and Jonathan!  ❤️❤️

I found out last week that you were Engaged.  When I had first heard the news, my heart dropped with the thought of not being able to share with you in this special time of your life and I felt very sad.  Scientology has ripped apart our family for the past 5 years because of their enforced disconnection policy and now we can’t even be together during this memorable time.  I cried for days thinking about how you and I are missing out on all the exciting mother-daughter things we could be doing together such as planning a fabulous engagement party, picking out your beautiful dress, the wedding invitations just to name a few.  I will miss this time with you, Jessica…. I really will!


Instead of staying sad, I’m grateful that you have found someone you love and want to spend your life with.  I met Jonathan last year when I attempted to see you on Mother’s Day.  He was very kind to me even though we’re all going through an extremely difficult situation.  I thought he was quite handsome too.  I wish you and Jonathan the very best and many years of happiness together.  I think you and Jonathan make a wonderful couple.

I’m sending my love to you both and remember I’m always here for you.

Loving you always!

Love, Mom